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CHAPTER FIVE.
BACK TO MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER,
EMILY MILLS ( Née Emily Fuller).

At present, I have no idea as to 'How, When or Where'?, my Great Grandma, Emily Mills, became a widow  

However, thanks to the Marine Society's records showing when my Grandad was accepted by them in 1896, I could see that his mother was still alive, since he had nominated her as being his next of kin.  Her address, at that time, was shown in the records to be in West Croydon, at  6, Wilford Road. I take it that Grandad was living with her at that address prior to joining the training ship.

Having had the good fortune to discover that she had been living there in 1896, I then looked at the 1901 census for that address. To my astonishment, not only was she was still living in the same house as in 1896,  but she was living there with other members of her family. The others, were her eldest children, William and Edith, who were both married with families of their own, plus her youngest son, Harry, who I hadn't  known about, until that moment!  The other people living in the house were her grandchildren, who were the children from William and Edith's marriages. The following extract from that census, shows all of Emily's family, with the exception of her husband, who was dead, and my Grandad, John Mills, who was away at sea serving with the Royal Navy.

The fact that my Grandad had a younger brother, who was said to be 18 years old, in 1901, seems to indicate that his birth had occurred in 1883.  This in turn, allowed me to see that Great Grandad George Mills must have died somewhere between Harry being conceived in 1882, and my Grandad, John Mills joining  the training ship in January 1896. His death was hardly what you might call 'pin-pointed'  by this snippet of information gained from the 1901 census.

Therefore, I decided to take a look at the 1891 census for No. 6, Wilford Road, to see if there was any possibility of the family being there at that time, but sadly --- no such luck!  Spreading my sights a little further afield in the 1891 census for Croydon, I eventually located  my Great Grandma, Emily Mills, living at 133, Gloucester Road, Croydon, with  her two young sons, John Mills (age 9 years) and Henry Mills (age 7 years). The extract from that census return is shown as follows:-

The return shows that Great Grandma, Emily Mills, was already a widow by that date, and was working at 'washing and char-ing', and that she was living in the house with another widow lady, Caroline Kingett, and her four young children. The lady was also shown to be working as a 'Wash. Laundress'. Other than the fact they were both widows with children and working in 'washing and cleaning' jobs, I don't think there was any actual relationship with one another.

On a map dated 1911, of West Croydon and Selhurst within  a few minutes walking distance from their home at 133, Gloucester Road, was a  laundry known as the American Steam Laundry, which is possibly where Emily worked at that time.  I believe the laundry eventually became known as the Sunlight Laundry, and was still in use during my childhood.

Great Grandma Emily Mills' older children ---- William and Edith ---- were not living with her at that time, and begs the question 'Where were they'?  William would have been about 15 years old when the 1891 census was taken, and his sister Edith, about 14 years of age. They would still have been children looking through our eyes today, but 100 years ago, both of them would have been working and possibly living away from home.

Looking again at the 1901 census ---- which showed that William and Edith were both married and living in Great Grandma Emily Mills' home, complete with their  respective families ---- I decided to try and discover when and where they had married. Their youngest brother Harry, who was 18 years old, and also living in the same house, was single, so I could 'ignore' him for the moment!

The thing is, where do you start looking ---- ideally you need the date of the marriage, but this is not shown on census returns.  The best that I had to go on, were the ages of their eldest children.  Working on the assumption that a lot of 'first' children in marriages seem to be born in the first year or so of a marriage, it seemed reasonable to start looking for the date of their marriages from a couple of years before their eldest child was born.

William's eldest child, was young Emily who was 6 years old at the time of the 1901 census. This meant that her birth would have been about 1895, so therefore I started to look for William's marriage to his wife Annie, two years prior to Emily's birth, i.e., about 1893.  

Initially, I had absolutely no success, and I suppose it was William that made me appreciate just how common the surname 'Mills' is.  You wouldn't believe just how many William and Annie Mills's  got married in England between 1893 and 1901. Not having Annie's maiden name was a disadvantage, and eventually I gave up the search in that area, and turned my attention to Edith's marriage instead.

Edith Mills had become a 'Stannard' as the result of her marriage, although, for some reason her husband's name didn't appear on the 1901 census return.  Their marriage had only produced one child at that time, namely a son, William George Stannard, who was shown to be just 1 year old.  The fact that he was so young, meant that I only needed to start my search for their marriage from the beginning of 1898, and also, because I knew Edith's maiden name was 'Mills' and her married one was 'Stannard', the search was that much easier to do.  As can be seen from the copy shown on the following page, it transpired, that she married  her husband, William Stannard, on the 1st August 1898.

I also looked through the 1891 census again to see if I could locate her whereabouts elsewhere in England, but again, because the name of 'Edith Mills' was so common, I went cross-eyed looking for the right 'Edith Mills', and had to give up for awhile.  A little later on, I decided to see if I could locate where her husband had been in 1891.  I had a sort of success with his name ---- and believe it or not ---- also with Edith's name as well.  The trouble is, I am not 100% certain that I have found the correct William Stannard and Edith Mills in 1891. Therefore, to register my uncertainty, in this area I will  print my findings in red. That way, if I do eventually find they are wrong, I will be able to make the necessary amendments to put it right.

I found a 'William H. Stannard' mentioned in the 1891 census for Margate, working as a Farm Labourer, and living in what was known as the Servant's House at Updown Farm.  The return shows him as being 17 years old, single, and born at St Nicholas at Iwade.

He wasn't the only man of that name in the 1891 census.  There were quite a lot more all over the country.  So, why did I 'hit' on him as possibly being the right William Stannard?

Also living and working at the same address, was a young girl, 13 years old, by the name of Edith Mills. She was described as a General Domestic Servant, who had been born at a place called Chitty, in Kent.

Perhaps I'm clutching at straws here!  Her place of birth at Chitty, in Kent, does not tie in with my Edith Mills who was said to have been born at Lamberhurst, in Kent. Nor for that matter, does her age!  If she was 13 years old in 1891, that would have put her year of birth as being 1878, not the 1876 I originally had.  But census ages can be wrong!

However, I just couldn't ignore the coincidence that there were two people ---- both  having the names that I was looking for ---- both of a similar age (albeit !3 years and 17 years) ----  both single ----  and both living and working at the same address.

I shall of course endeavour to confirm whether or not ---- 'Yea or Nay' ---- they are my relatives.  However, for the moment, I'll keep an open mind on the findings that I have at the moment.

In my researching of this area, I have had contact with two people that are distantly related to me in so far as they themselves have been descended from --- Edith Mills and William Stannard.  Unfortunately, like me, they are not anymore aware of Edith Mills than I am, and seem to be  doubtful about me having the 'right' Edith Mills / William Stannard in the 1891 census.

The contacts are a lady called Lynne Rich  (née Stannard) and  Susan Armstrong (née Benham).  They are second cousins, who until they became interested in their family background, were not aware of each others existence, nor the fact that their Great Grandmother, Edith Mills had a brother called John Mills.

I have also had email exchanges with a June Foreman, who was married to a William Benham (b. 1927), who was a son of Ivy Stannard, and a grandson of Edith Mills.

It would seem, that Edith Mills was married twice.  Her first husband was William Stannard --- who everyone, other than me, thinks that he lived at Wallington, near Croydon ---- but I will return to that in a moment. Her second husband's surname was Hylands, and since he is nothing to do with my family I haven't bothered to follow up on him at all.

Anyway, back to  the William Stannard that married Edith. Apparently he was a career soldier, which probably accounts for why he wasn't at 6, Wilford Road, Croydon, on the night of the 1901 census for Croydon.  In all probability he would have been with his Army unit, wherever that might have been!  

Presumably he must have  got home fairly frequently between 1900 and 1905, since the couple had five children during that time, namely : William. G. Stannard (b. 1900); Amy Stannard (b. 1901); George Stannard (b. 1902); Albert Walter Wagner Stannard (b. 1904) and Ivy Stannard (b. 1905).

It is said, that Edith's husband, William, probably fought in the Boer Wars ----but I haven't bothered to check this out, primarily because he isn't closely related to me ---- merely being a Grand Uncle by marriage.  It is also said, that he fought in the First World War, serving as a Private with the 2nd Battalion Essex Regiment, ( Service No. 3/2914), and was killed in France on the 9 August 1917.  His name is engraved on the Arras Memorial, in France, in Bay 7.  

In the Casualty Details, it clearly mentions that  he was the son of William Stannard of Bandon Hill, Wallington, Surrey, and the husband of Edith Hylands ( formerly Stannard, née Mills) of 7, Amersham Road, West Croydon Surrey.  Therefore, it would seem that my findings of a William Stannard and an Edith Mills in the 1891 census for Margate, are not the correct couple after all!  Although, I suppose there is a faint possibility that the Edith Mills mentioned on that census return, might still be correct  one ---- so I won't dismiss her as being 'no relation' for the time being!  None of the people that I have been in contact with can shed any light on Edith's whereabouts in 1891, so I will still continue to keep an open mind in that area.

Of the five children from Edith and William's marriage, I have only found two that were definitely married,  Namely Albert Walter Wagner Stannard, who married a Catherine Watt in 1924,  and Ivy Stannard, who married a William Benham.

Albert Walter Wagner Stannard's marriage produced a son and a daughter. The son, who was born in 1924, and named Albert after his father.  For some reason the father and son had a 'falling-out' and never spoke to one another afterwards, and as such, the son knows very little about his forebears.  Albert, the son, married a Jane Golding in 1956, and they had a daughter called Lynne in 1966, from whom I have gained this little bit of family history. Lynne grew up and married a John Rich, and has a family of her own.

Ivy Stannard, (Edith Mills' daughter), married William Benham, and between them had five children, one of whom was also called William, who was born in 1927.  He in turn went onto marry a June Foreman, who had three children together Guy, Dawn and Wendy, all born between 1956 and 1959.  Sadly, June's husband died, when the children were quite young, and life being what it is, she remarried and slowly drifted away from her first husband's family. Consequently, she doesn't know all that much about the Benham side of her family, which was the link via Ivy Benham (née Stannard), to Edith Mills. June reckoned that Ivy was a lovely woman who would help anyone, and doted on her family.

Wendy subsequently married an Alan Sharples in 1979, had three children, and the family moved to Illinois, America, in 1994, where they have been living ever since.

Another of Ivy's children, was Frederick Benham, whom, I am told, married Olive Setchfield , and had five children of their own.  One of these was Susan Benham, who is married to Ian Armstrong, and has two children ---- namely Sarah and Mark. Susan is also  niece, by marriage, to the aforementioned, June Foreman

Other than this brief contact through exchanges of Emails I have had no other contact with the Stannard and Benham families.

The other information that I managed to glean from the marriage certificate belonging to William Stannard and Edith Mills, (see page 41), is that Edith's brother William Mills was one of the witnesses to their wedding, along with his wife, Annie Kezia Mills. Although this didn't show me Annie Mills's maiden name, her second name of Kezia was sufficiently unusual to enable me to find the year when she married her husband William .  It transpired that her maiden name had been Annie Kezia Sellman, who married William Mills in the December Quarter of 1897, in the District of Croydon, Surrey. ( Volume 2a Page 493 of the Marriage Registers refers).

Again, I have to ask myself, 'How did Annie and William meet'? In the 1901 census, although living at Croydon at that time, it showed that she had been born in the heart of the Cotswolds, at a little place called Weston Subedge, in Gloucestershire. She was the daughter of a farm labourer, a William Sellman, who, himself had been born at another tiny village called Swinbrook, in Oxfordshire.  In all probability, William Sellman must have met Annie's mother in Weston Subedge, which was where they married and  brought up their family.  The Sellman family were living in that village for at least thirty years, at different addresses, and appear in all the censuses from 1871 through to 1901.

As the time between the censuses passed, various changes occurred in the household as more children were born into the family, and, because some of the older ones left home, maybe to find work elsewhere, or to start families of their own.  

Annie Kezia Sellman appears in the 1871 / 1881 and 1891 censuses in Weston Subedge.  Her husband-to-be, William Mills, seems to have remained in the Surrey and Kent area, although I haven't found any trace of him in either of those counties during the 1891 census.  I wondered if he could have been at, or near, Weston Subedge in 1891, and checked for his name in the census there, ---- but  without success. Off of the top of my head, I cannot think of any reason why he should have been in such a tiny village ---- so far from his own mother --- and the comparative 'bright lights' of Croydon.  So did he meet Annie in her part of the country, or had she moved across to Croydon for some reason? But again, I can't really think why a country lass like her would have made her way to Croydon.  If she was looking for work, surely Worcester, Gloucester, Stratford - upon-Avon, or even Bristol would have had as much to offer her, as Croydon.  I suppose, there is always the possibility that she might have been working as a domestic servant with a family, who had to move to Croydon, and perhaps she travelled with them, and met William Mills that way. The earliest record, for me, of Annie being in Croydon, seems to be the day that she married William Mills in 1897.  

Did she, I wonder, ever go back to Weston Subedge to see her family after she was married. Her parents were 65 years old in 1901, and it's doubtful to my mind that they would have journeyed to Croydon to see her.  And, did they ever get to see her children --- i.e., their grandchildren?  Times must have been so hard for people in those days --- with families drifting miles apart ---- possibly chasing 'work' ---- and as a consequence, perhaps never seeing one another again ---- or hardly ever! No phones, no text messages, no emails or faxes, no mobile phones with cameras --- and only the occasional short letter finding its way back and forth, (assuming they could read or write)!  

I wonder how the people of today would have coped,  who seem to leave their house, and within a few minutes of leaving their front door, suddenly find the  need to ring home on their mobile phone. Invariably it is just a trivial piece of conversation that they are having to make, purely and simply because they cannot be bothered to hold a proper conversation in their own homes!

There was one thing that was noticeable on the marriage certificate belonging to Edith Mills and William Stannard, which struck me as being slightly odd ---- in so far as it didn't show  Edith's father, George Mills, as having died prior to the marriage. It is customary, when a father has died prior to a couple getting married, the fact is noted alongside the father's name on the certificate, with the word   ---- (Deceased)  ---- enclosed in brackets.  So, should I assume that he wasn't dead when they married in 1897, or was it some sort of oversight that this note wasn't on the certificate.

I think that it was probably an oversight on someone's part, since the 1891 census for Croydon clearly shows that my Great Grandma Emily Mills was a already a widow, at that time.  That fact was also substantiated, to a degree, when the Marine Society took my Grandfather, John Mills onto the training ship in 1896, when they entered her name and address as being his next of kin.

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