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PREAMBLE
TO
PART ONE OF ‘WEDNESDAY’S CHILD’
CONCERNING MY FATHER’S FAMILY BACKGROUND.
As far as my Mother was concerned, I was always aware that she came from quite a large family. And, because they were a close family unit, I got to see most of them on a fairly regular basis; that is except for my maternal Grandparents and Great Grandparents, who had died before I was born.
My Dad’s family, however, was somewhat different! They were nowhere near as ‘close knit' . as Mum’s family, and as far as I was concerned, they were also sadly lacking in numbers. During my lifetime, the only part of his family that I came into proper contact with, was his mother, his step-father, his half-sister and her husband, plus their daughter, who, strictly speaking, is my half-cousin.
There were other members of his family that slipped into my life from time to time ---- but they only entered it somewhat fleetingly. To say that I actually knew them would be a gross exaggeration. A more accurate way of putting it would be to say , 'I knew of them'!
Sadly, with the exception of my half-cousin, Anne Newsome,(née Waters), and an elderly cousin of my Dad’s ---- whom I have always known by her maiden name of ‘Josie Doe’ ---- my Dad’s family are long gone! And it is only thanks to my cousin Anne and her contact with Josie ---- who is now in her eighties ---- that I have managed to glean as much information as I have regarding Gran’s family background.
My aim has been to uncover as many facts and memories concerning my Dad’s family as possible, whilst trying to make some sense of the now, vague, half-remembered conversations, that obviously never received my full attention when I was a child. In so doing, hopefully, I will be able to give some indication as to where the various generations came from and what they did for a living. Because of my advancing years, I feel that it is necessary to get as much of this information down onto paper as soon as possible, so that there is some semblance of order in my memories and notes. I shall try to continue researching the family’s history for my own interest, and will endeavour to keep my records and findings in a reasonably intelligible state just in case one of my descendants should ever decide to carry on where I leave off, to fill in any gaps.
Nevertheless, I did get to meet my paternal Great Grandmother (Gt. Grannie Roff), my Grandmother ( Grannie Mills / Joy), and my step Grandfather (‘Pop’ Joy). I actually had only one aunt, an uncle and a girl cousin from my Dad’s side of the family. There were other family members, but they all appeared to be Gran’s relatives, and although they got a mention from time to time, I rarely ever got to see them.
My ‘true’ Grandad was John Mills, who was my Gran’s first husband. Sadly he lost his life when he was drowned at sea whilst serving with the Royal Navy. The tragedy occurred on the 25 September 1907, off of some islands in the Sea of Marmora. Not only was he unfortunate to have died in the prime of his life, it was also said that he had been orphaned as a very young child, and placed aboard a training ship on the River Thames, in preparation for a life at sea.
In actual fact, it was my lack of knowledge about him, that first fired my interest in finding out about my family’s history.
Ever since I was a young lad, and right up until a few years ago, I never really gave much thought to family history, let alone the history of this country of ours. As far as I was concerned, most of the history lessons I had at school, other than those involving explorations of new lands ---- which were generally quite exciting ---- everything else, seemed incredibly boring. None of it, it seemed, had any relevance to me personally!
The fact that any of my ancestors could have been around and might have witnessed, or been affected by, any of the things that my teachers were trying to teach me, never entered my head. I most certainly had no thoughts that I might have had ancestors that could have been around at the time of the Great Plague or the Fire of London. Neither, did I ever consider that one of the contributing factors to my being alive today, was down to the arrival of the Huguenots who settled in London in the 1600s. Nor, for that matter, did I have any inkling that I had Irish ancestors that might have been forced to leave their homeland due to either the potato famine, or the English presence out there. I was also totally unaware, thanks to an off-shoot of the family, that any of my cousins had Italian blood coursing through their veins.
As a boy growing up in the 1940s and 1950’s, I would often visit the cinema and enjoy swash-buckling sagas involving Spanish galleons, pirates and the like, sailing through stormy seas. Little did I realize that I had had a couple of my Father’s ancestors who had served in the Royal Navy, and had actually learned their seamanship on such vessels. Although, it must be said, at the time that they were serving their country, it was the end of an era for that type of sailing ship. The Royal Navy was then rapidly changing from wooden-walled fighting ships to the more modern type of iron-clad steamships.
Both types of vessel are now old-fashioned and primitive by today’s standards, and life aboard ship, for an able-seaman and a stoker ---- which my ancestors were ---- would have been incredibly hard, and not without its dangers. To the best of my knowledge they never earned any medals ---- and may not have even fought in any major sea battles ---- but they served their country at a time when Britannia really did rule the waves. They also visited places around the world, which were largely unseen and unknown areas to their generation ---- which, through my eyes makes them ‘adventurers’.
I was only ever vaguely aware that some of my ancestors, had been so poor that they had to visit the workhouse for a dole of foodstuffs because they had no food or money at home. Some, who were even more unfortunate, either started or finished their lives in orphanages or workhouses. Fortunately, for me, although my own parents were never well-off financially, we were never that poor. However, I can recall occasions standing with my Mum outside butchers shops ---- after the war ---- when meat was still rationed ---- whilst she wondered whether she had enough money or ‘coupons’ in her purse to buy us 4 ounces ( 100gms) of ham as a treat. That minute quantity would have had to have been shared between the three of us ---- Mum, Dad and myself ---- and would’ve cost something like 1s.6d. in ‘old money’, or, 7½ p in today’s currency .
Some of the areas in which my ancestors lived, left a lot to be desired. They tended to live in the poorer areas of London and Croydon. For them, there was no such thing as centrally heated, double-glazed, semi-detached houses, fitted with bathrooms and toilets, that had a seemingly endless supply of hot and cold running water. Theirs, would possibly have been a largish house, poorly built, with two or three families living it. There could have been upwards of a dozen or more people living in one house ---- each family renting a couple of rooms ---- some of the rooms being in the attic, or in the basement. There were no bathroom facilities, and only a very basic outside toilet, with no flushing water. Until the mid to latter part of the 19th century there was no running water in many homes; therefore, when water was required, it had to be collected from a tap or pump in the yard. Several houses would have shared that tap or pump. The water came up from underground wells that were perilously close to evil smelling cess-pits, which had a habit of seeping their liquid into the wells that provided water for the people. Illness and disease, over the centuries, has always ravaged the poor and needy in London, and it was still rife in the 1800s through to the early part of the 1900s.
In the absence of electricity, lighting would have been provided by using candles or oil lamps. Gas lighting did not start getting into houses until sometime after the mid 1800’s. Electricity, for lighting homes, wasn’t generally available until after the First World War, c. 1918 ---- and my Gran and ‘Pop’ didn’t have electricity installed in their house until after the Second World War, c.1946. My wife’s foster Grandmother, Nannie Stone, who lived in a block of flats off of the Old Kent Road, was still using gas lighting up until she died in the 1960’s ---- she never ever had the benefit of electricity in her home.
It wasn’t until I came to trying to find out about my paternal Grandfather, John Mills, who had drowned in an accident at sea, in 1907, whilst serving with the Royal Navy, that I suddenly realized just how little I knew about my immediate forebears. Not to mention, any of my ancestors that preceded them! Because of this, my interest in my family’s origins and backgrounds, widened somewhat, and I decided to explore our ‘history’ and try to put my findings down into some semblance of order, so that it might have some interest to my grandchildren in years to come.
So, if you have just picked up this booklet, and thumbed through some of its pages, you will be aware by now that I have written it with the aim of shedding some light on my family, to show where we came from.
I have entitled it Wednesday’s Child, with the intention writing other booklets, all under the same running title. This first one covers my Father’s family background, and will be followed by another that will deal with my Mother’s family.
There is no way that either of these could be described as being ‘definitive’ family histories, as there are too many ‘unknowns’ on both sides for them to be wholly accurate. Nevertheless, I am hoping that they will give an indication as to where the families originated from, and where they were living over the centuries. Also, to give an idea as to the hardships that they may have endured during those times.
Hopefully, subsequent booklets will then follow. Part Three will deal with my parent’s lives from when they were born in 1905 ---- through to their marriage in 1930 ---- my birth in 1938 ---- the start of World War II in 1939 ---- up until the Spring of 1941, when my own life and memories began to take shape.
From the Spring of 1941, I intend recalling some details of my own life, breaking it down into approximately seven or eight year periods, right up until the moment that I have to stop ----- for whatever reason! By doing it in such a way, it will enable me to work on different sections, as the mood takes me. It will also (hopefully) make it easier for me to amend, add, or delete passages as necessary ---- thus making very generous allowances for my ‘grasshopper memory’ ---- and ensuring that I achieve as much chronological accuracy as possible.
The reason I have decided to call the series Wednesday’s Child is because, whenever my dear old Mum and I talked about the circumstances of my birth, she constantly reminded me that I was born on the 13th July 1938, at 2.30pm, on a miserably wet Wednesday afternoon. Strangely, whilst she was alive, I never really ironed out with her as to whether she remembered the exact timing so pointedly because, (a) it was the joyous day on which I entered her life, or (b) merely because it had been a ‘miserably wet afternoon’!
The idea of writing a series of booklets, has been largely brought about by the fact that I have reached that ‘certain age’, where one looks back over one’s life and realizes just how quickly it has all passed.
As a child, and as a young adult, I merely lived for the day and cared little about the past. My parents, grandparents and other relatives were all extremely kind, loving and attentive, but in those days, I never ever thought the time would come when they would no longer be around. Consequently, I rarely asked any questions about their early lives. And, even if any ‘ancestors’ were mentioned, I paid precious little heed to what was being said about them. That is something I now regret! Mind you, I do tend to think that this is trait which affects most ‘young generations’ ---- and is not something that just applied to me! To a certain extent, I can see the self-same thing happening with my own children and grandchildren. They don’t ask many questions about ‘family’, but ---- like me ---- the day will come, when they will eventually want to ask a question, and they will realize that they too have missed their opportunity. Therefore if I write down what I know, it might go some way to answering any questions they might have in the future.
I am now into my 69th year, and to my mind, I really haven’t done anything with my life that could even vaguely be construed, as being worthy enough to warrant it being committed to paper. What’s more, the very idea that somebody might actually want to read about it, or about my ancestors, seems about as likely as me being given a trip to the moon!
At the very outset, the best that I can boast, is that my life has covered a period of time where vast changes have taken place in the world ---- none of which are attributable to me! The changes that have taken place in my lifetime have been quite amazing, and most certainly would have been unimaginable to my ancestors that lived back in the 1800's and early 1900's. Similarly, if my descendants should ever decide to give me a thought, they would probably find it just as unimaginable for me to have lived through times which will seem quite primitive to them. So maybe, just ‘maybe’, my story might hold a modicum of interest for anyone leafing through its pages.
Because I have never attempted anything like this before, I do have some doubts as to whether or not I will ultimately achieve my goal. However, I am hoping that my Maker, will grant me the will-power to carry it through, the ability to make it interesting ---- and perhaps more importantly ---- the time to get it all down on paper! Whatever the eventual outcome of Wednesday’s Child, I know that I will have appreciated the excuse that the idea affords. Not only will it have enabled me to research my family’s history, it will have also allowed me to sit quietly and recall memories of family and friends, all of whom have played their part over the years to make my life so enjoyable ---- and I thank everyone for
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